The power of togetherness (social distancing permitting) in a world of isolation…
On the 18th March, as a team, we gathered around my laptop and sat in anticipation of the government’s announcement. Ireland, Scotland and Wales had made the decision earlier in the day to close all schools indefinitely. It was now our turn. What happened next, we are all aware of…
On Thursday it was announced that ‘lockdown’ will be extended for an additional 3 weeks. Amongst such uncertainty what we can be sure of is that, when the dust settles, our children will return to our settings. With this definite comes the need for schools to consider their ‘welcoming back’ approach. I want to be clear that I’m not writing this blog as a ‘you must adopt this approach’ or ‘this is the only way!’ but more as a way for me to compartmentalise my own approach whilst publicly justifying the rationale behind it. Up and down the country and across the world there will be several thousand people in the same position as me, pondering their approach, establishing their rationale. This isn’t and can’t be a ‘one size fits all’, each plan and rationale will be bespoke to the Leader, school, its children, staff and wider community. In truth I don’t know if my plan will be right, I must have missed the lecture during Initial Teacher Training that looked at how to best manage a global pandemic. But what I do know is that if I have placed the children and their needs at the heart of my ‘welcome back’ plan and been truthful to what we as a school stand for and believe in then I will rest easier.
4 points for consideration when welcoming children back from lockdown:
- We have to appreciate that this is a traumatic experience and recognise the impact trauma can have on both children and adults:
“Trauma is a response to any event/s encountered as an out of control, frightening experience that disconnects us from all sense of resourcefulness, safety, coping and/or love.” (Tara Brach 2011).
We currently find ourselves in a world where we cannot control many factors which we have historically been able to. Our movements have been restricted. Our contact with anyone outside of our immediate household prohibited. Our interaction with nature and the outdoors limited. As a nation we are intrinsically curious, you cannot entitle something a ‘Global Pandemic’ and expect us not to want to find out more! With such little opportunity to interact with other people and the outdoors we find ourselves inside. There we have too much time to watch the news or forensically check through the new news feed after it has pinged through to our phones. Such consistently saddening news serves only to perpetuate our feeling of fear for the safety our family, friends or the elderly loved one we are unable to see. For some it may mean heightened family tensions, poverty, a greater risk of domestic abuse, overly rigid routines or no routine at all. For others it may mean an experience of loss. This could be conceptual losses such as freedom to act, loss of belief in a safe world, lost time and opportunities, missed milestones, frustration of anticipated rewards inducing shame that this is what preoccupies us in the light of the experience of others, or it undoubtedly means bereavement and the loss of a significant relationship. Some will experience a revisiting of historic traumas triggered by some aspect of our current situation. All of this can result in both children and adults that are fearful, demonstrating high levels of anxiety, anger or depression. They may be overly irritable or argumentative. At times they may show an urgent need to be active and demonstrate a need to control all that they can in such an uncertain world . Inevitably, in living in a restricted environment in close proximity to others our windows of tolerance are narrowed leaving us less able to bear the normal, everyday stresses we usually take in our stride. Not having access to our usual systems of social support may manifest itself in the form of incapacitation and lethargy, disturbed sleep and eating patterns or we may find that we are pre-ocuppied with intrusive thoughts- catastrophising or worrying ‘what ifs’.
As a result, we find ourselves over activating the alarm states (RAGE, FEAR, PANIC/GRIEF), the biochemistry of toxic stress and suppressing the pro-social states (CARE, PLAY and SEEKING), the biochemistry of calm and positive mental health. It is therefore crucial for both pupils and staff that we optimally activate the pro-social systems as a dysregulated adult cannot regulate a dysregulated child. It is imperative that we as adults are emotionally available so we can rationally relate with what the child is experiencing, regulate with play and reflect together to establish strategies for coping next time.
2. Don’t underestimate the power of play!
Play creates a body and brain state of social engagement which supports our body systems to work at optimal levels – including our immune system. Anything counts as play as long as it is together, enjoyable and fun! It doesn’t often involve a screen. This is time to be face to face or side by side and totally focused on each other. From hide and seek, chasing bubbles and popping them with different parts of the body to word games or drawing – as long as they are done together! It’s very important that this is ‘play with’ the child rather than them playing alone. Playing together increases the sense of emotional connection and safety, reduces stress hormones and is a wonderful opportunity to talk about the child’s worries at the same time. Play is the key to unlocking a child’s emotions and therefore allowing their pro-social system to be activated.
3. The Importance activating the pro-social systems:
When we are feeling safe, relaxed and at ease, our pro-social systems are dominant. These are powerful hormonal forces, rich in oxytocin, dopamine and opioids. These hormones are anti-anxiety and anti-aggression. They have a powerful regulatory impact on brain and body, enabling us to stay within our window of tolerance and enhance our capacity to cope well with stressful situations. They facilitate our optimal engagement with the world around us and represent what we might describe as resilience.
When we feel unsafe, frightened, isolated and disconnected, the alarm states are dominant activating our survival responses of fight, flight and freeze. These are cortisol and adrenalin rich creating a state of social defence. Where these states continue to be activated, without relief or regulation, they become our dominant way of presenting in the world and our window of tolerance is narrowed. In short, every day stressors are experienced as major emergencies and our capacity to engage and learn is compromised. By intentionally activating the pro-social systems, we automatically reduce the over activation of the alarm states and facilitate regulation and connection. If we want to create an environment of psychological safety, the environment necessary for our children to feel safe enough to learn, activation of the prosocial systems is essential.
4. The power of a positive relationship:
I care about you; I’m going to work with you and I’m not going away… but you did?
There are many benefits to forging positive relationships for the well-being of both staff and learners alike. I have no doubt that this section probably deserves a blog all to itself. However, I believe behaviour and relationships go hand in hand. If done right, this allows educational professionals to create a welcoming learning atmosphere in which both parties and learners can thrive. For the more vulnerable or Early years children, forming positive attachments is crucial for development. For some children, no matter how hard we have tried, whether it be through our phone calls, interactive learning strategies or social media posts, they will have missed being in the presence of their consistently emotionally available adult. As a result of lockdown, our carefully nurtured relationships have been ruptured and will need to be repaired. Paul Dix wrote that for a lot of children, the relationship they have with members of staff at school is a counterbalance for what is going on outside. It would therefore be wrong to assume that for some children they are able to pick the relationship up from where it ended when schools were forced to close. This means that it is our duty to reinvest our time into rebuilding those positive relationships because through circumstances out of our control we were forced to put those relationships on hold. We spend hours investing time into building up those relationships so as we can get to the point of trust. I firmly believe that this can only be done if we understand the impact of trauma, value the importance of play and focus on activating the pro-social system.
I am very conscious that for many the above rationale will have been us trying to teach you to suck eggs. If that’s the case then we apologise, that wasn’t our intention! We simply wanted a platform to formalise our thoughts and justify the WHY behind our ‘welcome back’ approach whilst hoping to give others something to take away and think about. It is not for us to prescribe a ‘welcome back’ plan, it would be inappropriate as for many they will be so bespoke. We don’t know when we will return. We don’t know what the government will ask from us. Our only certainty in this uncertainty is that when we do return, our children will need us more than ever. That is the only thing we can be sure of.
”Somewhere between two human beings is the power to deal with the problem”
(Madge Bray 1997: 34)
Written by Joshua Tyers (Headteacher) and Julie Harmieson (TIS Co-Director)
The Fortuitous Head 